I have the problem that Christian writers deal with. I love to write and feel called by God to write to try to strengthen people of Fatih but I also don’t like to have to promote what I have written. I guess it is always a fear of rejection or that I am wasting your time sending meaningless materials to you–although they are not meaningless to me. it is like there is a ‘no soliciting’ sign posted on all the computers of all my readers and friends. It is a lot like how I used to feel when I took a class preparing to be a chaplain. I had to go on each floor of the hospital and walk into each room and introduce myself and explain what chaplains are there for. Most people were very gracious and in all the visits only one ever resisted me and ask me to leave–he said “I don’t want to hear it.” I have always felt that he needed to hear ‘it.’ Just being there reminded him that he had a spiritual problem that he needed to deal with but he was refusing to. Going to the hospital usually alerts people to their spiritual needs but for some even hospitalization doesn’t phase them. They will keep blocking out the truth.
I like to research and write on unpopular subjects, things that I and we must deal with but most people don’t want to deal with them. Like ‘aging,’ for example. We all age and we become aware of that more keenly when we arrive (far too early it seems) to the realization that we are not going to live forever and that old age presents us with problems that make everyday life more challenging. All my hospitalizations (20+) have left me a little weak and, like I have told people, it threw me into old age. So much for the gradual aging–wham! I am there. I have to use a cane. I got to the point where I could go without a cane but I always feared of falling again, I have been lucky so far, in both of my falls I only ended up with bruises and temporary but almost debilitating pain. So, in spite of being seen as old and feeble, I use a cane and I feel much more stable and secure. Using a cane changes the way people see me and evaluate my worth. Even so, I have never met a person who was not courteous nor accommodated my obvious limitations.
With this in mind, I will do some self promoting. A book I wrote from my research on the theology of suffering and persecution from the Early Church to the 20th century has been made available by the Christian History Institute on its website dedicated to the persecuted church. You can find that book in PDF format on <captivefatih.org>. It was posted on July 9th.
Let me know if you read any part of the book and if it has any value for you.